al3va

just hit my 6,666 mark and i thought i'd dedicate a journal to it ;D

have you ever thought you killed someone? i mean not just pulling a trigger but tearing apart someone's soul bit by bit until there's nothing left but sorrow and hate?
have you ever loved someone so much, you said you would make everything right? promised you would never harm this person or that you would never hate her? i did. i said that if it was in my hands she would never feel pain again, not understanding that it was in fact me that had it in his hands... and so i tore her apart, saying cruel things i never wished to say because all i wanted is she would stay.

it doesn't take much in life. just enough money so you can feel safe, friends you can rely on and someone who sees something no-one else sees in your eyes. it takes months or even years to get these things but only seconds to lose them. i have felt miserable several times in my life. we all did. i was hurt many times. we all were. but i've done something so cruel no-one should ever do. never tell the person you love you hate her / him. not even as a joke.

i'm not begging for sympathy or anything, because i know i don't deserve any of it, it's just that i hope you read this and realise how sorry i am and that when i killed your heart i killed mine, too.

i've carved regret deep into my chest...

there are so many songs racing through my mind.

as some of you may have noticed i have been very inactive the last several months, rarely submitting any stuff or commenting on anything. i also want to apologize to everyone who added my drawings and stuff to his / her favorites and not showing any appreciation for this! i'm sorry for this behaviour, i don't mean to be arrogant or anything...

few things have changed since my last entry, or, well, its just one thing to be honest: i changed my studies from english to communication design. i really like it and appreciate to work with people that can connect with the same things as i do.

well, i guess thats all for now.
see you in a few months,

arnold d

Wow, it's been quite awhile since I updated my journal! Well, in the past few months I've been keen on improving my digital colouring skills as well as searching for my own style... I've tried out many methods, very comic-like to more realistic and more sinister.

I have also visited quite a lot concerts the past few months: vainstream beastfest in july (which was a total blast!), devildriver in october, alexisonfire and imperial never say die tour in november and next monday I'm going to see architects again... My first concert this year, so I hope it will be good! And maybe I will see some of you on the With Full Force Festival this year? Who knows.

The main reason why I haven't been updating my journal is that nothing too exciting had happened the past months, which is why I feed you with non-sense like concert dates now.

Today I finished a gunslinger drawing and I'm proud as a... as a... well I'm proud of it.

So I hope that you haven't given up on me and stay tuned for many more cool stuff to follow

so long!

EDIT: 48 (!!!) pageviews today! not much for most of you, but it really means a lot to me, as I never had more than 20 views a day! THANKS!

so... i thought it would be time to update my journal Oo.
business is as usual, except that i'm having one of my two last exams in school tomorrow. after this i'm finished with school. forever. and ever!

i guess i'll start with english or american studies at university now and keep that going for a year. in the meantime i want to create and collect stuff for an application portfolio. what i dont know yet is if i'm going to stay at home or move out and study elsewhere. it would be kinda interesting to meet new people and to live with one certain person as well...

i'm very undecided yet :

yesterday i got featured by , a very talented photographer from school and now i'm facing a flood of watches, faves and comments xD.

so if u (hopefully) read this: i am very sorry if i failed (i'm pretty sure i did) in answering all ur comments, compliments or the s ! ;(